Category Archives: Show Notes

Notes from the show

Episode 38: The Sousaphone of Chronological Distance

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"Mommy, can I re-enact Chernobyl in the basement?"

 

Ahoy me hearties!  This be the tale of two scurvy landlubbers that sailed the seven internets in search of ‘idden treasures.  Aye, they found a fair few for their efforts, but rare indeed were those fine baubles when matched against the overwhelming tide of bilge they ‘ad to muck about in.  If ye only knew the ‘orrors they witnessed in their quest it would surely put ye off breakfast for a fortnight!

Today they be generous enough to share wit’ all you deck-dogs a fine trove indeed!  10 bonny links the like of which ye’ve ne’er seen…and if ye ‘ave seen ’em then keep your mouth shut about it and play along anyway if ye know whats good for ya!

Thee Links of William “Pignut” Paidion

Nintendo 3DS drops it’s price…..to what it should have been in the FIRST place

Anyone want to buy a Chinese kid or three?

Ohio:  Birthplace of awesome!

You sunk my Battleship™ !

Flowerpot Fridge

Thee Links of James “Jolthead” Nocturusrex

New York:  Legislating your life to infinity and beyond!

A sentence so full of WIN it almost doesn’t need a link:  Bruce Lee playing ping-pong using Nunchucks!

Outdoor Gear, the pointless and the nifty.

LEEEGGOOOOOSSS  IIINNNN SSPAAAAAAAAAACCCCEEEE!

The Can-Can as only ZELDA can!

 

This is all old news, but I guess it’s been fermenting in the ‘draft’ queue long enough.  If anyone happens to find this message and wants to see some more schlockingly good links please leave a comment and I’ll see what I can do.   ~J

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Filed under Austerity, Show Notes, That's Fancy, Twiternship

ONE YEAR OF PODCASTS FTW!

This level of awesome makes it hard for me to breathe...

Tonight’s episode marks a significant anniversary in the annals of Culture Schlock.  A year ago this week (363 days ago) we began a project that Will & I (James) have been contemplating for many, many years.  The exact nature of the project has changed multiple times since it’s inception, but our desire to collaborate on something has been a longstanding dream.  Long ago, in those primeval days when there was no such thing as a “podcast,” I seem to remember a plan to self-publish an underground -zine inspired by a concept album we were obsessed with at the time.  *Sigh* Those were the days.

To continue our trip down amnesia lane we present to you a selection of our favorite links from the past year.  I thought about not posting anything and making you (our loyal fans) play “find the random link,” but I decided to play nice…this time.

10 Awesome Links We Love

Shock my taters, please

Problem with your blackberry?

BOB

Arcade Fire

Ye Olde Time Travel Mart

In the war between bears and duct tape. duct tape wins again!

Steampunk World’s Fair!

Feelin’ Manly?

Blow those drowners out of the water!

Star Wars the musical

Ready for a little schlock?  Then enjoy the schlockiest schlock we’ve consumed this year!

Cleavage Caddy, OOoo Chair

BOTDF  <– STILL refuse to link to this drek!

Red Riding Hood, Operation Endgame

Twilight, Dust

Dead Like Me

A million thank-you’s to all our fans!  Hope you enjoy the show!

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Filed under Show Notes, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven, Uncategorized

Episode 36b: We’re Gonna Parameter You in the Paradigm Until You Synergize

Mess With Texas!

I know a number of you have probably already died from sheer anticipation at this point.  The rest of you may be on the verge of total mental collapse, but I want to reassure you:  The Schlock is back with a vengeance!  …I’m not really sure who or what will taste our glorious retribution, but we’re about to kick this pig!

 Paidion says, “Your mom.

Billboard o’ lawsuits

Operation Cupcake FTW!

Behold the power of photoshop

Ready for a mind-twisting good time?

Pakistani Starfleet!

Hackattack

Nocturnusrex says, “For customer service go somewhere else.

Teenager actually doing something useful!

Inexplicable yet strangely soothing

Stickpage.  That is all.

MUSIC YOU SHOULD NOT STEAL!

Josh Garrels

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Filed under Global Warming, Show Notes, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven

Episode 36a: Part One in a Two-Part Series Exploring the Dichotomy of Amish Tech Support

For your abbreviated enjoyment we now present a few links from our most recent excursion into the dark underbelly of the intertubes.  While “dark underbelly” undoubtedly sounds a little ominous, let me assure you that the underbelly we’ve been exploring is mostly ticklish and smells of parmesan cheese.  Underbelly.

It was deeply aggravating to have our show cut off before we really got ramped up.  It could be attributed to simple technical difficulties.  However, a much more likely scenario is that the army of “Beliebers” is actively sabotaging any critics of his new “Someday” parfum (Yes, this is not a typo).  We at the Schlock refuse to endorse anything so mind-numbingly heinous, so instead please enjoy this lovely painting found whilst browsing the fine arts.

This is a painting of a flower.

Parfum D’oh Paidion

I wonder if these Divorce Cakes taste bitter…

Social Curation?  More like social BOREation! LOL AM I RIGHT?!?!

Nocturnusrex de toilette 

The “Green-washing” movement is a lot like the biodegradable products they push:  overly gassy.

Circular saw blade slingshot.  A new and exciting way to maim your friends!

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Filed under Global Warming, Greenwashing, Show Notes, Social Cleansing

Episode 34: Year of the Consulship of Persicus and Vitellius

Flipper? You're creepin' me out bro.

Quick and dirty this time kids.  However, the lack of fluff does not indicate a decrease in quality.  This is premium Schlock right here!

Paidion =

Every thing on the internet you should have seen, but were too busy having a life to check out.

Second verse, same as the first.  A whole lot louder and a whole lot worse!

Amazing underwater photography!

Nom nom…..nomicon

If you decide on a career in busking, this is the site for you!

VIA SCOTTISH PEARL =

A Zombie Love Story

If you have a stroke, let a bat bite your butt.

Nocturnusrex =

Further geekify your home in 2 easy steps:  1 & 2

Why not buy a “historical” UFO of your very own?

The happiest place on earth (if you don’t agree you will be starved to death and then shot)!

Hungry, hungry teenagers.

Spectacular FAIL OF THE WEEK!!!

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Filed under Greenwashing, Show Notes, Social Cleansing, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven

33+33*33 = Episode 1122

Happy Blueberry Cheesecake Day everyone!  We’ve been gorging ourselves on this glorious confection since very early this morning and will continue to do so until 11:59pm tonight!  It doesn’t matter how sick we get, this cheesecake has got to be eaten ( Notwithstanding any other provision in this agreement to the contrary, no full or partial failure to exercise and no delay in exercising, on the part of a party, any right, remedy, power or privilege permitted hereunder shall operate in any way as a waiver thereof by such party, regardless of the frequency of such failure or delay.)!!  I don’t care how much these shooting pains in my left arm hurt, I’m not going to stop eating this blueber

A Spoonful of Paidion Pie

All tied up

The Labyrinth of Genre

How to be a Retronaut

I’ve been shipping my aerosol cans to Mars

Music you should not steal!

A Slice of Nocturnusrex’ Nectar

Do not make your beaver angry

I cobbled this together out of earwax, a spoon, and the elastic from my underpants.

Is your house zombie-proof?

Minecraft goes mobile

The Murban

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Filed under Global Warming, Greenwashing, Show Notes, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven

Episode 32: In which Paidion and Nocturnusrex set out to lance an turgid boil.

Today it is your extraordinary good fortune to have the opportunity to be the first to catch a sneak-peek of our upcoming movie.  Okay, there hasn’t been any actual filming, but here is the script we wrote* for your perusal.  Okay, we aren’t done with the script, this is as far as we’ve gotten, but it is guaranteed to be chock-full of awesome and we’re giving you an exclusive look into the creative genius that is Culture Schlock!!

ARAC ATTACK

FADE IN:

EXT. DESERT – NIGHT

A rabbit hops across the rough terrain.

EXT. HIGHWAY (DESERT)  –  NIGHT

Three trucks from Chemical Technologies carry barrels of toxic waste.  They pass a sign:  PROSPERITY, NEVADA, POP 454.

INT. THIRD TRUCK (HIGHWAY, DESERT)  – NIGHT

A sleepy trucker called PIG PEN drives the third truck.

SELF-HELP TAPE (V.O.)

I will be self-assured and confident around women

PIG PEN

“I will be self-assured and confident around women.”

EXT. HIGHWAY (DESERT)  –  NIGHT

The rabbit stops at the edge of the road.  The first truck speeds past.  Then the second.  The rabbit crosses the highway in front of the third.

INT.  THIRD TRUCK (HIGHWAY, DESERT)  –  NIGHT

SELF-HELP TAPE (V.O.)

I will not fear the unexpected.

PIG PEN

“I will not fear the unexpected.”

The rabbit appears in the road, frozen by headlights™.

PIG PEN

Ahhhhhhhhhh!”

Pig Pen jams on his brakes and swerves to avoid the bunny.

EXT. HIGHWAY (DESERT)  –  NIGHT

The truck slews crazily. Missing the bunny by a whisker.

INT. THIRD TRUCK (BRIDGE, DESERT)  –  NIGHT

Pig Pen sees a bridge ahead.  If he doesn’t regain control, he will crash.  At the last second, he gets the rig together.

EXT. BRIDGE (DESERT)  – THIRD TRUCK  –  NIGHT

The rim of the a wheel tags the curb.  One of those toxic waste barrels falls out of the back and plunges to the water below.

EXT. DRAINAGE DITCH  –  NIGHT

A biohazard warning label is legible as the barrel slips beneath the surface.  Glowing toxic waste seeps from a gash in its side.  Spreading through the pool like a neon ink.

*Note:  We didn’t actually write this script, just made some minor modifications for entertainment purposes only (please don’t sue us).  Also, bonus points for the first person to leave a comment with the actual title of this film.

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Filed under Austerity, Cyberpunk, Show Notes, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven, Twiternship