Category Archives: Twenty-Eleven

sounds good don’t it?

ONE YEAR OF PODCASTS FTW!

This level of awesome makes it hard for me to breathe...

Tonight’s episode marks a significant anniversary in the annals of Culture Schlock.  A year ago this week (363 days ago) we began a project that Will & I (James) have been contemplating for many, many years.  The exact nature of the project has changed multiple times since it’s inception, but our desire to collaborate on something has been a longstanding dream.  Long ago, in those primeval days when there was no such thing as a “podcast,” I seem to remember a plan to self-publish an underground -zine inspired by a concept album we were obsessed with at the time.  *Sigh* Those were the days.

To continue our trip down amnesia lane we present to you a selection of our favorite links from the past year.  I thought about not posting anything and making you (our loyal fans) play “find the random link,” but I decided to play nice…this time.

10 Awesome Links We Love

Shock my taters, please

Problem with your blackberry?

BOB

Arcade Fire

Ye Olde Time Travel Mart

In the war between bears and duct tape. duct tape wins again!

Steampunk World’s Fair!

Feelin’ Manly?

Blow those drowners out of the water!

Star Wars the musical

Ready for a little schlock?  Then enjoy the schlockiest schlock we’ve consumed this year!

Cleavage Caddy, OOoo Chair

BOTDF  <– STILL refuse to link to this drek!

Red Riding Hood, Operation Endgame

Twilight, Dust

Dead Like Me

A million thank-you’s to all our fans!  Hope you enjoy the show!

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Filed under Show Notes, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven, Uncategorized

Episode 36b: We’re Gonna Parameter You in the Paradigm Until You Synergize

Mess With Texas!

I know a number of you have probably already died from sheer anticipation at this point.  The rest of you may be on the verge of total mental collapse, but I want to reassure you:  The Schlock is back with a vengeance!  …I’m not really sure who or what will taste our glorious retribution, but we’re about to kick this pig!

 Paidion says, “Your mom.

Billboard o’ lawsuits

Operation Cupcake FTW!

Behold the power of photoshop

Ready for a mind-twisting good time?

Pakistani Starfleet!

Hackattack

Nocturnusrex says, “For customer service go somewhere else.

Teenager actually doing something useful!

Inexplicable yet strangely soothing

Stickpage.  That is all.

MUSIC YOU SHOULD NOT STEAL!

Josh Garrels

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Filed under Global Warming, Show Notes, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven

Episode 34: Year of the Consulship of Persicus and Vitellius

Flipper? You're creepin' me out bro.

Quick and dirty this time kids.  However, the lack of fluff does not indicate a decrease in quality.  This is premium Schlock right here!

Paidion =

Every thing on the internet you should have seen, but were too busy having a life to check out.

Second verse, same as the first.  A whole lot louder and a whole lot worse!

Amazing underwater photography!

Nom nom…..nomicon

If you decide on a career in busking, this is the site for you!

VIA SCOTTISH PEARL =

A Zombie Love Story

If you have a stroke, let a bat bite your butt.

Nocturnusrex =

Further geekify your home in 2 easy steps:  1 & 2

Why not buy a “historical” UFO of your very own?

The happiest place on earth (if you don’t agree you will be starved to death and then shot)!

Hungry, hungry teenagers.

Spectacular FAIL OF THE WEEK!!!

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Filed under Greenwashing, Show Notes, Social Cleansing, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven

33+33*33 = Episode 1122

Happy Blueberry Cheesecake Day everyone!  We’ve been gorging ourselves on this glorious confection since very early this morning and will continue to do so until 11:59pm tonight!  It doesn’t matter how sick we get, this cheesecake has got to be eaten ( Notwithstanding any other provision in this agreement to the contrary, no full or partial failure to exercise and no delay in exercising, on the part of a party, any right, remedy, power or privilege permitted hereunder shall operate in any way as a waiver thereof by such party, regardless of the frequency of such failure or delay.)!!  I don’t care how much these shooting pains in my left arm hurt, I’m not going to stop eating this blueber

A Spoonful of Paidion Pie

All tied up

The Labyrinth of Genre

How to be a Retronaut

I’ve been shipping my aerosol cans to Mars

Music you should not steal!

A Slice of Nocturnusrex’ Nectar

Do not make your beaver angry

I cobbled this together out of earwax, a spoon, and the elastic from my underpants.

Is your house zombie-proof?

Minecraft goes mobile

The Murban

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Filed under Global Warming, Greenwashing, Show Notes, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven

Episode 32: In which Paidion and Nocturnusrex set out to lance an turgid boil.

Today it is your extraordinary good fortune to have the opportunity to be the first to catch a sneak-peek of our upcoming movie.  Okay, there hasn’t been any actual filming, but here is the script we wrote* for your perusal.  Okay, we aren’t done with the script, this is as far as we’ve gotten, but it is guaranteed to be chock-full of awesome and we’re giving you an exclusive look into the creative genius that is Culture Schlock!!

ARAC ATTACK

FADE IN:

EXT. DESERT – NIGHT

A rabbit hops across the rough terrain.

EXT. HIGHWAY (DESERT)  –  NIGHT

Three trucks from Chemical Technologies carry barrels of toxic waste.  They pass a sign:  PROSPERITY, NEVADA, POP 454.

INT. THIRD TRUCK (HIGHWAY, DESERT)  – NIGHT

A sleepy trucker called PIG PEN drives the third truck.

SELF-HELP TAPE (V.O.)

I will be self-assured and confident around women

PIG PEN

“I will be self-assured and confident around women.”

EXT. HIGHWAY (DESERT)  –  NIGHT

The rabbit stops at the edge of the road.  The first truck speeds past.  Then the second.  The rabbit crosses the highway in front of the third.

INT.  THIRD TRUCK (HIGHWAY, DESERT)  –  NIGHT

SELF-HELP TAPE (V.O.)

I will not fear the unexpected.

PIG PEN

“I will not fear the unexpected.”

The rabbit appears in the road, frozen by headlights™.

PIG PEN

Ahhhhhhhhhh!”

Pig Pen jams on his brakes and swerves to avoid the bunny.

EXT. HIGHWAY (DESERT)  –  NIGHT

The truck slews crazily. Missing the bunny by a whisker.

INT. THIRD TRUCK (BRIDGE, DESERT)  –  NIGHT

Pig Pen sees a bridge ahead.  If he doesn’t regain control, he will crash.  At the last second, he gets the rig together.

EXT. BRIDGE (DESERT)  – THIRD TRUCK  –  NIGHT

The rim of the a wheel tags the curb.  One of those toxic waste barrels falls out of the back and plunges to the water below.

EXT. DRAINAGE DITCH  –  NIGHT

A biohazard warning label is legible as the barrel slips beneath the surface.  Glowing toxic waste seeps from a gash in its side.  Spreading through the pool like a neon ink.

*Note:  We didn’t actually write this script, just made some minor modifications for entertainment purposes only (please don’t sue us).  Also, bonus points for the first person to leave a comment with the actual title of this film.

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Filed under Austerity, Cyberpunk, Show Notes, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven, Twiternship

Episode 31: 31 Flavors of Fail

Ladies and jellyspoons: I stand before you to sit behind you to tell you something I know nothing about. Next Thursday, which is Good Friday, there’s a Mother’s meeting for fathers only; Please come if you can’t; if you can, stay at home. Admission is free, pay at the door; bring your own seat and sit on the floor. This evening you have the distinct pleasure of sampling some of our newest fail-errific flavors from deep within the freezers of Nox & Paidion where the snozzberries taste like snozzberries! Click and lick anything that looks luscious for your very own free sample. Enjoy!

==========================================================================================

Strawberry Cheesecake [] Obsolete Daiquiri Ice [] Rainbow Sherbet [] Nutty Coconut [] Elf-Ears Jubilee [] Olde Timey Chocolate Mousse Royale [] Gold Medal Ribbon [] Pistachio Undead Almond [] Peanut Butter ’n Chocolate [] Rocky Road [] Community Funded Almond Fudge [] Old Fashioned Butter Pecan [] Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough [] Pseudo-Magic Strawberry [] Pralines ’n Cream [] Chocolate Chip [] Defaced Dollars ’n Cream [] Chocolate [] Mint Chocolate Unreasonable Search Chip [] Vanilla [] Cotton Candy[] Engineering Potion #31 [] Pink Bubblegum [] Euthanasia Raisin [] Creole Cream Cheese [] Black Walnut [] Lemon Busted [] Oregon Blackberry [] Mississippi Mud [] Banana Nut Deathwish [] Fudge Brownie


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Filed under Cyberpunk, Show Notes, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven

Episode 30: 30-Seconds to Mediocrity

Attn: My Dear Paidion & Nocturnusrex,

I am Mr. Steve Martin, I am a US citizen, 48 years Old. I reside here in New

York City. My residential address is as follows. 160 Central Park South,

New York United States and my Tel Number is REDACTED, I am one of those

that took part in the Compensation in Nigeria many years ago and they

refused to pay me, I had paid over $50,000 while in the US, trying to get

my payment all to no avail.

So I decided to travel to WASHINGTON D.C with all my compensation

documents, And I was directed by the ( F B I) Director to contact Mr. David

Later, who his a representative of the ( F B I ) and a member of the

COMPENSATION AWARD COMMITTEE, currently in Nigeria.and I contacted him and

he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through

emails are fake.

He took me to the paying bank for the claim of my Compensation payment.

Right now I am the most happiest man on earth because I have received my

compensation funds of $15 Million Us Dollars Moreover, Mr. David Later,

showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their

paymentsand I saw your name as one of the beneficiaries, and your email

address, that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those

people, they are not with your fund, they are only making money out of you.

I will advise you to contact Mr. David Later.

You have to contact him directly on this information below.

COMPENSATION AWARD HOUSE
Name : Arcade Fire
Email: schlocking@gmail.com
Telephone Number: REDACTED

You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you

and telling you that your fund is with them, it is not in anyway with them,

they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you

have nothing.

The only money I paid after I met Mr. David Later was just $390 for the

paper works, take note of that.

Once again stop contacting those people, I will advise you to contact Mr.

David Later so that he can help you to Deliver your fund instead of dealing

with those liars that will be turning you around asking for different kind

of money to complete your transaction.

Thank You and Be Blessed.

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Filed under Austerity, Cyberpunk, Show Notes, Social Cleansing, That's Fancy, Twenty-Eleven