Episode 32: In which Paidion and Nocturnusrex set out to lance an turgid boil.

Today it is your extraordinary good fortune to have the opportunity to be the first to catch a sneak-peek of our upcoming movie.  Okay, there hasn’t been any actual filming, but here is the script we wrote* for your perusal.  Okay, we aren’t done with the script, this is as far as we’ve gotten, but it is guaranteed to be chock-full of awesome and we’re giving you an exclusive look into the creative genius that is Culture Schlock!!

ARAC ATTACK

FADE IN:

EXT. DESERT – NIGHT

A rabbit hops across the rough terrain.

EXT. HIGHWAY (DESERT)  –  NIGHT

Three trucks from Chemical Technologies carry barrels of toxic waste.  They pass a sign:  PROSPERITY, NEVADA, POP 454.

INT. THIRD TRUCK (HIGHWAY, DESERT)  – NIGHT

A sleepy trucker called PIG PEN drives the third truck.

SELF-HELP TAPE (V.O.)

I will be self-assured and confident around women

PIG PEN

“I will be self-assured and confident around women.”

EXT. HIGHWAY (DESERT)  –  NIGHT

The rabbit stops at the edge of the road.  The first truck speeds past.  Then the second.  The rabbit crosses the highway in front of the third.

INT.  THIRD TRUCK (HIGHWAY, DESERT)  –  NIGHT

SELF-HELP TAPE (V.O.)

I will not fear the unexpected.

PIG PEN

“I will not fear the unexpected.”

The rabbit appears in the road, frozen by headlights™.

PIG PEN

“Ahhhhhhhhhh!”

Pig Pen jams on his brakes and swerves to avoid the bunny.

EXT. HIGHWAY (DESERT)  –  NIGHT

The truck slews crazily. Missing the bunny by a whisker.

INT. THIRD TRUCK (BRIDGE, DESERT)  –  NIGHT

Pig Pen sees a bridge ahead.  If he doesn’t regain control, he will crash.  At the last second, he gets the rig together.

EXT. BRIDGE (DESERT)  – THIRD TRUCK  –  NIGHT

The rim of the a wheel tags the curb.  One of those toxic waste barrels falls out of the back and plunges to the water below.

EXT. DRAINAGE DITCH  –  NIGHT

A biohazard warning label is legible as the barrel slips beneath the surface.  Glowing toxic waste seeps from a gash in its side.  Spreading through the pool like a neon ink.

*Note:  We didn’t actually write this script, just made some minor modifications for entertainment purposes only (please don’t sue us).  Also, bonus points for the first person to leave a comment with the actual title of this film.